Sometimes I think to myself, "Self (yes, this is totally what I call myself in my head), there is no possible way Levi could ever shock you again at this point." Levi has desensitized me to nearly everything. But just when I think that Levi could NEVER top the *last* bad thing he did, he pulls something out from his sleeve (or from his pants, as it were).
Today, Wyatt comes into my room to tattle on his brother (nothing about this is out of the ordinary, mind you).
Wyatt: "Mom, Levi is doing something terrible. Again."
Me: "I'm sure he is. What is it this time? Is he outside naked?"
Wyatt: "No, he's inside. He keeps pulling his pee pee out and chasing me with it."
(Note: nothing about this is out of the ordinary, either)
Me (walking into the other room): "Levi! Seriously?! How many times do I have to tell you to keep it in your pants! No one wants to see your junk! It's gross! Stop exposing yourself, or you'll be in time out for the WHOLE day."
(Note: Still completely routine)
Levi: "But mom!"
Me: "No excuses, Levi!"
And here it is, people. Here is where Levi managed to leave me speechless.
Levi: "But mom! Listen! My pee pee is a break dancer! He likes to just dance all around all the time, and I just can't control it! See?"
Needless to say, Levi and his break dancing junk are in time out. I sort of feel bad that in 14 years I'll be releasing him out into the world...