We Probably Can't Go Back To The Old Navy

Wyatt is secretly drinking Miracle Gro at night (maybe) and is growing out of ALL his pants. One day the pants fit; the next day they don't. The other day was a 'don't' day, and we had to head over to the mall to try to find the kid some pants that might fit for longer than a month (is that too much to ask?). In the mall, I decide to head over to the Old Navy. I love the Old Navy, personally. While you may feel fat in *some* stores (I'm looking at you, Forever 21), you feel just right in the Old Navy. To set the scene, Old Navy always has a lot of mannequins. You've seen the commercials, right? (If you haven't, you aren't missing much).

The Old Navy Mannequins

Anyways, Erich, Wyatt, Levi, and I are pants shopping in the Old Navy. I took Wyatt to the pants section, and Erich took on the task of trying to manage Levi. Basically, Erich was running damage control. Levi loves to hide in clothes, knock things over, offend shoppers, and just basically make sure we never take him shopping again.

Out of no where I hear, "I looooove dirls! I LOVE dirls! Dirls...."

I know this is Levi; I also know he's probably doing something bad. I walk towards the front; Levi is standing near a mannequin, and Erich's face tells me Levi did something *really* bad.

Erich: "We need to go. Now."

Suddenly I notice shoppers, employees, and passersby staring at us.

Me: "What? What happened?"

Erich: "Do you see the mannequin Levi is standing next to? Right in front of the window? Because he just felt it up. Big time. While yelling that he loves girls."

Me: "When you say felt up, you mean...?

Erich: "He felt it up, Jen. We need to go."

We hurry over to the register, desperate to get our lecherous baby out of the Old Navy. We suffered a lot of stares and some giggling before we could get out. Mind you, Levi violated the mannequin in front of the WINDOW, so even leaving the mall itself wasn't without incident.

Me: "LEVI! What is the matter with you? You know you aren't allowed to touch boobs!"

Levi: "Mom, they were fake boobs!"

Basically, Levi violated that poor mannequin in front of God and everyone. Punishments and lectures aside, I'm really not sure what we're going to do with Levi. What I am sure about is that we probably can't go back to the Old Navy.