Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Just a Phase

Your kids often times do bad, odd, sometimes unbearable things. People try to make you feel better by using the phrase, "Don't worry. It's just a phase... it will pass." I've heard the 'phase phrase' no less than one billion times (probably). I'm sure I've even said it before (it sounds nicer than, "your kid is just awesomely bad"). But seriously? The cold hard truth is that even though it might be a phase, and maybe you kid will stop eating boogers someday (but maybe not), there's always another phase in the works.  Just when your kid stops sticking everything in his mouth he starts biting people. Biting eventually stops and then they move on to bigger and better 'phases' like hiding poop, refusing to use the toilet, refusing to bathe, back talking, smacking other children, grabbing his/her junk compulsively in public, etc. Just when you think you've conquered a phase, your kid comes home with a penchant for hiding granola bar trash in his underwear or singing Gwen Stefani songs loudly in the middle of class (apparently Wyatt is NOT a hollaback girl, in case you were wondering).

So my point here is the next time you see my kid randomly trying to pull down his pants in the middle of Costco don't try to console me by telling me your little Jason went through the pants-pulling-down-in-Costco phase and now he doesn't do that anymore and life is daisies and sunshine and snickers bars. Because really? Jason has moved on to wearing underwear over his clothing. And next I'm sure he'll be snorting glitter glue like it's going out of style. While it all might be a 'phase' I don't find any solace in the fact that it will someday end, because there will always be something else they do that I don't like. I do, however, find solace in bedtime. And wine.

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